The California Department of Motor Vehicle

I would venture to say that most, if not all, DMV offices are horrible places to have to visit, but I thought going to one in a smaller town would be faster and more efficient.  Not so. Did you ever play "Shoots and Ladders" as a child? They probably don't even make it any longer, but if you did, the similarity of my experience to the game is startling. Those of you who have played that game, will understand what I mean.

To begin with, I made an "appointment" online because the website claims you will be helped quicker with an appointment. Not so. When I arrived, there were two lines - one said "Appointments Only" and the other said "Non-Appointments." I, of course, went into the "Appointments Only" line because I cleverly scheduled an "appointment" ahead of time, on their website. However, I stood there for a good, LONG time, listening to others complaining about having an "appointment" but still having to wait in line like the other folks who did not have an "appointment." Finally, I got to the front of the line and the very young man behind the counter who called me over, had no idea what to do with me. He asked his supervisor, came back and gave me an application, and told me to go "over there," to sit down and fill it out and then bring it back in line. The end of the line, which was now even longer than when I first started. Ok, I can do that.

After standing in the back of the line once again, for what seemed like hours, I finally got to the front and this time another person looked at my application and said I was missing this and that, and I would have to go and sit down again and fill in the information he highlighted, and get back to the end of the line! At this point, my patience was beginning to wear very thin. When I finally got to the head of the line, again, I saw the same person, who looked at the application and he gave me a receipt  and told me to go and sit down "over there" and wait for my number to be called. 

Finally, my number was called and I went up to the counter, and gave the lady who was actually nice to me, "Michelle" and who knew what she was doing, my paperwork. After calculating what I needed, she said it would cost me $1500 to register my car in California, that I bought in Wisconsin. I nearly passed out. In a very loud voice, I said, "WHAT???" You have GOT to be kidding me!?" She explained that it was a California user tax that I had to pay, because I bought the car in another state within 90 days. I looked at her as if she was a Martian talking in a Martian language, but she wouldn't budge. I asked her rhetorically where she thought I was going to get that kind of money, as I just moved here and I'm on a fixed income, blah, blah, blah, knowing full well she wouldn't have the answer. She did apologize and shrugged her shoulders which was a small consolation, I guess. 

She said that I could get the registration now and the plates later when I had the money, so I paid her $288 to get my registration and a temporary sticker that lasts 30 days until I can pay for the remaining $1300. Wow. This was unbelievable. I waited in line THREE times only to find out the cost was astronomical. I had put online what I needed to do at the DMV, which included getting my driver's license. She said I should have told that to the guy I first saw, and I told her that I already put that on the online application, but she said that information is "not passed along to them." Another WOW. Apparently the stuff they ask you online isn't transmitted to the offices where you actually have to GO. I guess they just put it on there for fun - including making an "appointment." She was kind enough to go and get an application for me and told me to go "over there" to fill it out and let her know when I was done, which I did. I was ready to do the eye test and picture thing for my license and she asked for my birth certificate. I said, "Of course I don't have that - how in the world would I have known you would ask me for that?! Now that would have been useful information to put online. I've had a driver's license since I was 16 years old!" She said I had to have an original birth certificate to get my driver's license, so now I have to scour my house to find that. They wouldn't take another state's word that I already have a driver's license. I have to prove I was born here. I left about one and a half hours later, frustrated and exhausted. It was worse than an aerobic workout. At least with that, there's a benefit to it.

Wait. There's more. After I typed this all out but didn't finish it yet, I received a notice in the mail from the California DMV, just yesterday, stating I owed them $3000, not $1500 which was originally told to me. I looked at the letter and heard in my head an explosion about to erupt. I think this is when God intervened, because I started saying out loud, "It's ok. This is gonna work itself out. This will be ok. This will be ok. This will be ok," chanting the last part over and over until I actually believed it. I think this is the first time in my life, that I ever talked myself out of a meltdown. I mean, I'm just being honest here. When I first read the letter, my initial instinct was to have a full-blown conniption fit and hunt down the director of the California Department of Motor Vehicles. I don't know how or why this happened, but I think this will all work out, one way or the other...  So she said, chanting to herself...