The One Percent

I don't know why, but I forgot to publish this when I wrote it - in December, 2015. I thought I would post it now, and even though Christmas is long gone, feelings of the one percent tend to linger on. So for those of you who find yourself alone today, or any day for that matter, and it's sometimes so overwhelming, all you can do is cry....this is for you.



I was walking Bobby yesterday and saw some people packing up their car with Christmas presents. I imagined that they were traveling to someone's house to celebrate the holidays. I have always loved the Christmas season, and everything that goes along with it. When my kids were small, I enjoyed watching them barrel down the stairs or down the hall, in their pajamas, to open their presents with so much excitement. I liked to make a breakfast casserole or something special for later that morning. It seemed like a magical time, and one that I never thought would really change. But change does come, of course, and this time with more blessings: grandchildren! I didn't think I could love anyone more than my children, but then these little beings came along and have literally changed my life. It's such a joy to be with each of them and see how they are so much like their moms and dads - it's like I'm living my young motherhood again, but this time with so much less stress and so much more fun.

So it's Christmas Eve and I would venture to say that ninety-nine percent of the folks reading this today are spending time with family or friends or a combination of both. Like my home was in the past, a lot of noise from the kids' excitement, and the adults' laughing, talking and arguing. I'm sure this same scenario is going on everywhere people are celebrating Christmas Eve tonight.

But then, there are those one percent. Those people who are absolutely alone in the world, who may not have family or friends to spend the holidays with, or maybe, never at all. It's those business execs or company owners who put all of their energy and focus into their businesses, and have left out personal relationships. It's those widows or widowers who have no children or whose children choose not to see them. It's those elderly in nursing homes who still have their minds, but are lonely and depressed because all of their friends and family have passed on. It's those men and women I see walking, biking or pushing grocery carts down the sidewalks with every earthly belonging they own, going back and forth in a meaningless venture, maybe trying to find a place to sleep that is warmer than the one they were at the night before. These are the folks who I'm thinking about tonight. They are the ones Jesus loves and wants to fellowship with and wrap His arms around so they don't feel alone. I don't know what it feels like to be literally all alone in the world. I'm sure it's an awful feeling I don't ever want to feel. But for those who are in this situation, my heart goes out to them. To you. And now for once in my life, I feel a fraction of what you may be feeling and I wouldn't wish this on my enemy. I realize even more tonight how blessed I've been my whole life and how I've taken so many things for granted.

I'm all alone for Christmas for the first time in more than 40 years. That's a long time. Of course I have Bobby here with me, but it's just not the same. It's not the same without laughing children and arguing adults. Not the same with no music or tv blasting and someone yelling to turn it down. Not the same when your voice echoes because there's no one to listen to what you're saying, except Bobby. And he agrees with everything I say, so it's not at all challenging. The saving grace of course, is that Jesus is always with us. Even when we don't feel Him. He said in His Word that He would never leave us or forsake us, and I unequivocally believe that. I just have to be reminded of it every now and then, like tonight, as I'm feeling like one of the one percent.

I'll be fine in the morning. A new day always changes my perspective. It brings some light onto a situation that the night before may have seemed so bleak. But tonight, it's just you and me, Jesus. I need to lean up against You and cry... and feel You wrap me up in Your arms...